Maybe it's got something to do with the stage in our lives we're in (most of my friends like me have got young children) or our age (I'm turning 40 next year) but it appears that more and more people around me are having marital issues. There is talk of separation and even worse divorce.
If you are currently tempted to throw in the towel too please take some time to ponder the first one of a few important relationship laws I discovered over the years.
Relationship Law Number One:
Love yourself and it doesn't matter who you get married to
I came across this notion for the first time several years ago in Eva-Maria Zurhorst's book with the same title (in German). She reckons that the reason why relationships fail is not that you've chosen the wrong partner or that with the right partner you would not be in your current situation. The reason why your current relationship is not working is YOU and the way out of a relationship crisis is not through separation but through working on yourself. Fail to do so and the same old issues are guaranteed to turn up again in your next relationship and the one after that.
So start by taking a look at your past relationships. Can you recognize any patterns. Also take a look at the relationships of your immediate and wider family. What patterns can you see there? Are you repeating some of the behaviours of your parents, grandparents? How do you contribute to the current situation? What steps could you take to move forward?
These are only a few sample questions of course and you might want to get some more help from friends or relatives who have successfully come through a relationship crisis or seek professional help from a counselor, psychologist or coach.
Whatever you decide make sure to read tomorrow's blog about Relationship Law Number Two: Every Relationship Is Doomed
To your happiness,