1. Drop them - if all they do is take and you don't really care about them it's time to say good-bye and cross them off your list. Yes, it's as simple as that.
2. Change the subject - this works very well for people who just need to vent when they initially see you. Give them 5 minutes to talk about whatever drove them mad and then change the subject to something you'd prefer to talk about.
3. Help them find a solution - if they are genuinely stuck within a problem and they are keen to find a solution you could coach them using a mixture of the NLP Problem and Outcome Frames as follows:
What is the problem?
And how is it a problem for you?
What do you want instead?
Have you ever been able to deal with a similar situation?
What did or didn't you do in order to get it solved?
What other resources have you got?
What is your next step?
This will leave them with a sense of action & empowerment. Instead of just having vented you helped them find their own solution.
4. Have a 'Fierce Conversation'. In her book of the same title Susan Scott says that 'our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time' and she provides clear tools and strategies of how to have a fierce conversation and even some fierce confrontations.
Send me your comments and/or questions. Or share your story of a fierce conversation with us.
I'd love to hear from you.
To your happiness,